Crushing rant dimming light, depression squeezes gray matter out my ears dripping down my neck cold sticky emotions finding their way out of my decaying soul. Nothing will stop the tortured pursuit of me for you.
There’s one more hole to climb out of to see your smile. I ask, will you smile back if muscle my way from this muddy pit my feelings have constructed, this quicksand of denial I pass off as me, will your smile be there if I climb out?
Grinding hips wrapping tongue against around, pressing against the chain link fence trying to feel something, needing to break through to you. Hands bloody from grabbing too hard, tongue bloody from biting too hard, hips bloody from grinding too hard.
Struggling alone inside my head, one more hole to climb out of, Lights dim each time I turn to see your smile wondering if this time it won’t be there.
Tossing around pretending to sleep, acid crawling up my throat to wake me reminding me I’ve one more hole to climb out of. I don’t need reminding I know where I am down in this piss infested hole representing my life.
One more hurdle before your smile greets me before you arms wrap around my neck squeezing your love into me, licking my face with your sloppy tongue thrusting your knee between my legs to wake me from my fright.
I’ve run so long so far I don’t know where I am which city which street I’m on. I only see one more hole to climb out of. One more hole then another, before I see your smile.
My lifeless corpse vibrates to a distant memory heard laying my head on your chest last time I crawled out of just one more hole. Will you be there this time when I crawl out?
Will it be you who welcomes me or will you spit your salve in my face while you grab me telling me what I can do for you how I can be there for you. Will you mistreat me so I know you love me, will you hate me so I know you care that I crawled out of one last hole to see your smile.
Should I crawl out of one last hole or should I cover myself with dirt holding your smile in my still beating heart all to myself?
