Beating heart wandering
aimless through thoughts
wondering why, thousands
of times I’ll second guess
myself.
Sitting starring blue wall,
feelings crashing into one
another, pain ripping skin
from my anxious body.
Stomach empty, knotted with
illusions might have been.
Abandoned by my own self
seeing a better gig else where.
Last brass ring gone for good,
once more alone, frightened.
Once more facing death’s
grinning presence, solitary.
Depression rolls over me with
might claws ripping feelings,
moorings snapped, adrift in a
leaky boat, crying, all is lost.
